good bye
by heartfallen
Summary: Two soul mates one lost in time and the other in a damned world.
1. lost in time

**Disclaimer: I own neither Charmed nor this song **

**Summary: Chris's good bye**

**45** _Shinedown_

**Send away for a priceless gift  
One not subtle, one not on the list  
Send away for a perfect world  
One not simply, so absurd  
In these times of doing what you're told  
You keep these feelings, no one knows  
What ever happened to the young man's heart  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart**

I'm here to do the impossible save the world from the greatest magical being that ever existed. I try to play the good little whitelighter and still wear a mask of armor. They have no idea my heart is breaking even more so every minute I'm away from you.

**And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45**

I'm living a false life in a past world. I look around this sunny bright world and can't help but think this should be ours.

**Send a message to the unborn child  
Keep your eyes open for a while  
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else  
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life  
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight**

I keep going day in day out never really living just trying to make it to the next day without you. The truth is I feel guilty because I'm in a free world and you're not.

**  
What ever happened to the young man's heart  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart**

Walking down the street I see someone with brown hair past their shoulders and turn them around but its only a stranger and my heart breaks a little more...its always just a stranger.

**And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45**

Sometimes at night I take a walk in the Underworld hoping maybe you are there and the next day when a demon attacks I have to see its face before I let it get vanquished. I know it's not pratical but my heart still hopes.

**Everyone's pointing their fingers  
Always condemning me  
And nobody knows what I believe  
I believe**  
  
Something goes wrong and who do they blame...me. I'll admit sometimes it's my fault but only because I get sloppy trying to do so much in so little time. They don't realize that if they help me I'll be gone, gone back to you. 

**And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45**

I will step through that portal and make it back to you. But there's one problem...the portal only goes backwards in time. As much as I hate to admit it I don't know how to get back to you, Bianca. It may even be impossible but then again a witch/whitelighter and a Phoenix was impossible too.


	2. damned world

**Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed nor this song.**

**Summery: What would you do if the one man you loved went to the past? **

**"Blurry" PUDDLE OF MUDD  
  
Everything's so blurry  
and everyone's so fake  
and everybody's empty  
and everything is so messed up  
pre-occupied without you  
I cannot live at all  
My whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl  
**

I miss you so much. The day I met you everything changed. I use to just follow the evil then you showed me the good. You showed me the lies and the promised. You showed me the love.

**You could be my someone  
you could be my scene  
you know that i'll protect you  
from all of the obscene  
I wonder what you're doing  
imagine where you are  
there's oceans in between us  
but that's not very far**

I wonder how you are. Does your family trust you? Do they know who you really are? Do you miss me as much I you?  
  
**Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it in my face  
this pain you gave to me  
Can you take it all away  
can you take it all away  
well ya shoved it my face**

Will you do whatever it takes to save him even if it means hurting the ones you love most? You gave me love and hope but sometimes it costs me more then it's worth.  
  
**Everyone is changing  
there's noone left that's real  
to make up your own ending  
and let me know just how you feel  
cause I am lost without you  
I cannot live at all  
my whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl**

I am nothing without you. You make me complete, you are my better half. Without you the world is even more colder.  
  
**You could be my someone  
you could be my scene  
you know that i will save you  
from all of the unclean  
I wonder what you're doing  
I wonder where you are  
There's oceans in between us  
but that's not very far**_  
_  
I say you saved me but the truth is we saved each other. You are so far away yet so close. All I have to do is say a spell and I'm with you.  
  
**Nobody told me what you thought  
nobody told me what to say  
everyone showed you where to turn  
told you when to runaway  
nobody told you where to hide  
nobody told you what to say  
everyone showed you where to turn  
showed you when to runaway**_  
  
_You were taught evil and good and I fall in evil. It never mattered to you what you saw was me not what they say I am. You should have turned away but you moved closer.  
  
**This pain you gave to me  
You take it all  
You take it all away...  
This pain you gave to me  
You take it all away  
This pain you gave to me  
Take it all away  
This pain you gave to me**_  
_  
Before you I felt nothing but now...I feel everything. Even when I kill I feel it. Once I could turn my back on the pain and suffering now I not only feel it but I'm part of it. You opened my heart to everything and for that I love you even more.


	3. leaving all behind

Takes place before Bianca steps in the portal to go to the past.

* * *

**Rinse**

**She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye.  
She would suffer she would fight and compromise.  
She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright.  
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight**

I love him so much, I'll do anything for him. I even turned good for him so how can I do this? There has to be another way?

**She must rinse this all away.  
She can't hold him this way.  
She must rinse this all away.  
She can't love him this way**. 

I have to lock my love deep inside and pray it doesn't get free. I can't kiss him, feel his warm skin, or even smile. Because if I do I know I'll fall apart.

**How she'd be soothed how she'd be saved if he could see,  
She needs to be held in his arms to be free.  
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand.  
'Til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man.**

If he knew what really lied inside of me then I know he would make it alright, make everything bad go away. But this time he can't its greater then him. I use to be able to do this, this was my life that was before I feel in love with Chris.  
  
**She must rinse this all away.  
She can't hold anybody this way.  
She must rinse this all away.  
She can't love him**

I'm a Phoenix, an assassin witch, I was not meant to love I was meant to kill. I can't be with him maybe I never should have.  
  
**And as she runs away she fears she won't be followed.  
What could be worse than leaving something behind?  
And as the depth of ocean slowly becomes shallow,  
It's loneliness she finds.  
If only he was mine.**

In a world full of evil I should feel welcome then why to I feel so lonely? I miss you and wish you were here but you can't be. You are not mine anymore.  
  
**She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye.  
She would suffer she would fight and compromise.  
She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright.  
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight**

I have been searching everywhere for another solution but there is none. I have to ignore my heart and just do what I have to do.  
  
**She must rinse him.  
She must rinse him.  
She can't rinse him.  
She can rinse him.  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him.  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him.**

I have to let go of the love but I can't. It's that same love that kept me going all these dark scary nights. How do I give that up? How do I give you up?  
  
**She must rinse this all away.  
She can't hold him this way.  
She must rinse this all away.  
She can't love him this way.**

I don't know how but I will do it. This is what I have to do there is no choice, it's the only way. I only hope you can understand that someday.


End file.
